January is a time of “new beginnings”. For many of us, it is a time to make resolutions - some that we keep, some that disappear rather quickly. Perhaps you started a healing journey last year and it has fallen by the wayside. If you joined a support group to help with your recovery, has your attendance faltered?
Now is a great time to resolve to commit to your full recovery/healing journey!
Might some of these reasons for not going to your group sound familiar? Examine your heart and see if they are getting in the way of the Holy Spirit’s work toward your healing and wholeness…
1. I'm too busy.
Or as Beth Moore calls it, "the captivity of activity". The enemy loves to keep our schedule intentionally full so we don't attend to our full healing. Why? Because our calling emerges from the Lord as He heals and grows us, and our purpose for being here on earth comes to light as we are made whole. God uses the people he heals to help others - always! And satan will do his darnedest to keep that from happening.
2. Family is more important.
More than anything, your family needs a healed woman! In the scope of your family's life, nine months is a short time. Ironically, a nine month betrayal class is like a pregnancy, in that we birth a newly healed self. In the long run, your family will be thankful you took the time to recover and heal. A healed mama equals a happier family. Let me clarify that full recovery takes longer than a betrayal class. Diane Roberts from Pure Life Ministries says it can take around five years to fully recover.
3. I think I'm doing well now.
Often when women feel some relief, they think they're good to go. Relief is a gift from God to be able to persevere through the healing journey with Him and other sisters in Christ. Relief does not equal healing!
4. Class triggers me and makes me worse.
We hear it all the time, so here it is again - PAIN is GAIN! The Lord cannot heal what He does not reveal. You may not want things to get brought up because you fear raw emotions resurfacing, yet the Lord waits for your trauma to subside so He can go deeper as He speaks into your situation. This is how He makes us stronger and stronger. We must trust Him in this process knowing that He has rhyme and reason in this long haul.
5. I'm just too exhausted and tired to make it to class.
This excuse was my personal go-to. I really didn't think I had the energy to get through my day let alone make it to class. I remember asking the Lord for strength and then making myself go. I made dinner for my family and then left for class. It never failed, the Lord always gave me the strength I needed and His bonus was that he gave me a piece I needed in my puzzle of healing. When I added all the weeks together, they consisted of many pieces of healing that brought more clarity and emotional stability.
6. I like to heal alone and not with other women whose situations are different.
We think we can't learn from other struggling women. We may think, "My situation is worse", or “Their’s is worse”. You would be surprised how other women who are a mess can help us. I've heard the most broken women repeat some tidbit that she read or heard...something that brought hope to her, or some kind of breakthrough God gave her during the week. It can become a word from the Lord for us all. It's a beautiful thing to encounter the healing process of other hurting women, and watch as the Lord miraculously heals and uses them as they journey toward wholeness. God tells us in Galatians 6:2 that when we bear each other’s burdens that we fulfill the law of Christ.
7. I've received so much healing and I've got a strong handle on this now.
If the Lord brought you to class to begin with, don't you think He has a plan for your continuing the class in full? Believe it or not, He really needs stronger women as an encouragement to some weaker women. 2 Corinthians 1:4 tells us that God comforts us in our troubles, so that we can comfort those with the comfort we received from God. Isaiah 58:10 tells us if we spend ourselves on behalf of the needs of the oppressed, we ourselves will become fully restored.
8. My divorce is like a job.
Going through a divorce takes a great deal of time. Preparing paperwork for court can be like a part-time job. While it seems logical to skip support group or Bible study to work on your divorce, it is absolutely imperative not to let these important life-lines drop! The Lord already knows the outcome of your divorce, and He will give you the time to do what you need if you put Him and His healing for you FIRST.
So for this New Year, if you have joined a support group and dropped off in your attendance, please re-examine why you joined, what you need, and how you can be helpful and support others. May this be a profitable year of growth, strength, and healing for you!
Godspeed and God Bless!
Laura serves as the Executive Director on the board of HER. She is passionate about helping betrayed women who struggle emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and financially. She has been leading weekly marital betrayal support groups for several years. Currently, Laura connects with leaders, writers, and counselors, to unite the efforts of those who share a burden for betrayed women.
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